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Breakthrough The Inner Struggle


𝐘𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞…😳⁣
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I asked my girlfriend to do a photo shoot of me.

⁣This may sound a little peculiar and weird to you if you’ve been following me and watch my LIVE Facebook videos but truth be told, I have never been comfortable in front of the camera.⁣
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𝐈𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭, 𝐈 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧.⁣ - 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺
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If you were to ask my Mom to show you pictures of me growing up, you would be hard pressed to find one single photo of me smiling.⁣
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You see, I always struggled with a low self esteem and growing up I had severe acne - the type that strong medications like Accutane couldn’t even seem to cure.⁣.. 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘪𝘵

I hated the way I looked in the mirror and pictures were just a constant reminder of how ugly I felt.⁣
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This ugliness and lack of self esteem followed me everywhere and crippled my ability to really enjoy life to the fullest.⁣
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I would shy away from activities and social gatherings as I would make up stories of how people didn’t like me or want me around anyway.😔⁣
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If it wasn’t for the church youth group I don’t think I would of had any kind of social experiences growing up from 7th - 11th grade.⁣
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It wasn’t until I went into the military🇺🇸 at the age of 17 (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥) that I really found myself and my own self respect. ⁣
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Coming out of Basic Training everything changed for me in my status, my confidence, and my presence...⁣
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At this time I didn't mind being in photos but if it was a group shot, you would always find me in the back row...
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𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘰… 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸.⁣
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What was so powerful about yesterday was the recognition that it has taken me my entire adult life to overcome the negative stories and feelings associated with who I am and what I have to offer to the world.⁣
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Fast forward to today and I’m in front of the camera with 💯 transparency and exercising the art of “𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐅**𝐤” ⁣
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You’ll see this tall guy front and center in group photos and fumbling his words on LIVE videos but it’s not about being self centered or egotistical…⁣
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It’s about me being able to overcome the shy, angry and depressed guy who always projected his internal conflicts onto other people…⁣
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Making up stories of what he thought they were saying “behind his back” even though in most cases there weren’t experiences proving that to be true… ⁣
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𝘐𝘧 𝘐’𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 💯𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦 “𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴” 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦.⁣
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Yesterday was a simple yet powerful reflection of how far I’ve come in my ability to overcome the past and be at peace and harmony with the present that only came from resolving my innermost conflicts.⁣
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I would encourage anyone who is struggling with these kinds of internal conflict and self bullying to work on developing your mind, body and spirit and to know that...⁣
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𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 💯𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 🙌 ⁣
(𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨)

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